The six pillars of the PILLAR-method are:

• Presence
• Interaction
• Life coaching
• Listening
• Action
• Rest

Why a life wide/lifelong approach?

Life encompassing problems demand a life wide/lifelong approach. The PILLAR-method ties into this with an holistic kind of coaching, or as we name it: life wide/lifelong coaching. Life coaching as worked out in the PILLAR-method circumvents the obstacles which people with autism run into as a result of the current methods of organization for health care and psychiatry. Another commonly used term for “life coaching” in the case of autism is “life quality coaching”.

What is life coaching?

Life wide/lifelong coaching and life quality coaching are effectively the same thing. They include, where necessary, coaching in each area of life and during every phase of life. Examples of areas of life are: work, schooling, housing, finances, health, social relationships, leisure and hobbies. Coaching focuses on areas like administrative support, practical support like cooking and learning to cook, housekeeping, learning how to deal with relationships and being successful with study and work.

Think, for example, about the stages of life: infancy, toddler period, puberty and parenthood. Each stage of life requires different skills and makes other demands. It is important that coaching takes this into consideration and anticipates changes to new phases in life, such as, among other things, the transition from primary school to high school, the transition from school to work, from living with parents to independent living. For a parent with autism it could be the transition of a child to a new phase in life, which causes the parent to take on a different role and position.

The PILLAR-method offers a methodological basis and tools to help people from a life wide/lifelong approach. Life wide/lifelong in all aspects of life: it includes the various areas of life, encompasses coaching by the various stages and phases of life and gives attention to the more spiritual questions and finding meaning. The success of the method is based on listening. Listening and understanding from the autistic perspective. In short, the PILLAR-method offers coaches an approach with which they can help people on their way through life and with their ability to function in society.

The method’s structure

The PILLAR-method takes the coach through six core consequences of life with autism. Autism and how it expresses itself is as diverse as people themselves are. There will, therefore, be problems. In addition to this, autism is often very complex. To unravel this, it is helpful to look at a problem from several different perspectives. The author discusses these perspectives in the first chapter.

The PILLAR-method focuses on development. We will discuss many problems. We do this because naming and defining problems is important for finding solutions and dealing with problems. In addition, we will look at the chances and possibilities for growth. Therefore, after describing a problem, guidelines follow to help the coach deal with these problems and see possibilities for learning. The PILLAR-method provides the coach with a guide for understanding the client and using this understanding to find keys and work on growth.

3.3     The six pillars of the PILLAR-method

The first pillar is Presence

It is important that the coach realizes that with autism and ADHD there is often a basic inner restlessness and a feeling of uneasiness or insecurity. By taking this into consideration in his approach and having an understanding of how to do this, the coach can find the best approach to this side of autism. In the chapter about “Presence”, further attention is given to the consequences of this restlessness. The coach receives practical guidelines for how to lay a basis for calm and a feeling of security.

The second pillar is Interaction

“Interaction” involves the effect of autism at a social and communicative level. The chapter about interaction partially addresses the effects of autism because of the lesser-developed ability to The Theory of the Mind.

By engaging in a cooperative relationship between the coach and the client, connection and trust are important. The development of this relationship of trust is worked out further. By many people with autism and ADHD, this, for various reasons, is an area in which many relationships, also with counselors, break down. Trust in that one coach, who accompanies the client in all areas of life, is often the key for change to a more stable life.

The third pillar is Life Coaching

Autism has consequences on social, practical and relational levels. These consequences extend to the more fundamental human values. Think about the understanding and the realization of one’s own autonomy. About how people view their own futures. About having control over one’s own life. The consequences of autism and ADHD have an effect to the very core of one’s existence. Within the chapter on this pillar, “Life Coaching”, there are also pointers for coaching and change.

These first three pillars are especially about understanding, and having the right demeanor and attitude. Through practical examples you will see how you as coach are confronted with autism in your daily work and you are given direction for dealing with it. In the next two pillars we move on to analysis and the actions resulting from it.

The fourth pillar is Listening

“Listening” refers to the analytical phase of the method, based on the first three pillars. With autism, there are often problems with developing and keeping an overview. This affects one’s whole life. Listening well and analyzing helps the coach to compensate the lesser-developed central coherency of the client. In this chapter several methods are described, which do justice to a life encompassing analysis. In this way, it is possible to identify the issues in a life encompassing manner and to react accordingly as coach. In this chapter, guidelines will also be given through examples. Among other things, the following will be addressed: individual development and competence oriented working and thinking. The coach develops a view about how he can target learning and development.

The fifth pillar is Action

The chapter “Action” examines the problem that with autism there is often a discrepancy between thinking, processing and doing. This pillar refers to the lesser-developed ability of the executive functions. Processing information often works differently with autism. As coach you can respond to this in a coaching style of learning. Coaches receive tips about how they can best help people with autism to learn.

The sixth pillar is Rest

Sensitivity to stress is a burden for many people with autism. It often lies deeply rooted in the disposition of someone with autism. In combination with the ability to learn and ways of encouraging personal development, you can learn to deal with stress.

The pillars “Presence” to “Action” contribute to reduction of stress and an increase of a feeling of inner peace, and therefore of security. The result of the PILLAR-method is, therefore, that there is a greater sense of peace. Through experiencing more inner calm, there is more stability. The client can handle more. There is more energy for activities or work. Self-confidence grows and the person is more self-assured. The client experiences a sense of peace because he, in spite of his problems and limitations, feels understood and protected. There is also calm for those involved, such as the partner or parents, because they are no longer alone with their worries and pain. It can be the first step for further development of that which at first seemed impossible because of autism but nevertheless proves attainable.

In the “Epilogue” the writer turns his attention to the present situation of autism in society and shows how a life wide/lifelong approach is applicable in existing health care and contributes to more efficient care.

Titel: “Towards Rest: the PILLAR-method for life wide/lifelong coaching with Autism”

Author: Herman de Neef

Publisher: Inspired Quality Publishers

ISBN: 978-90-819659-0-3

Available through: www.iqcoaches.nl and www.pillarmethodiek.nl or through a(n) (online) bookstore.

Translation: Cathy Faber Corlett

At this moment only available in Dutch.